So, so happy!

A lot has happened in my head and heart since I last gave a real update. I've posted some of this on the forum, but not much. I have felt the need to pull inside myself a little (this is big for an extrovert like me) and just tumble some things around on my own for a while.

BUT. I just have to share how delighted-thrilled-excited-grateful-none-of-these-words-is-enough about this. Read it. Seriously. Don't read any more of my post until you've read MM's. MM has been through a lot in the past few weeks, as anyone who is part of the forum (and if you're not, you should be) knows. Are you part of the forum yet? Join. Seriously. Don't read any more of my post until you've sent a request to join it. Smile. And now this. It is just too awesome for words. I have been in a good mood since Sunday night mostly in large part because of it.

Well, and because of an experience I had tied to it. After reading about MM's experience, I knelt to say a prayer to thank Heavenly Father, and I felt the impression that this was an example of how the Lord wants some changes to happen in the church---through the personal efforts of its members.

Yes, the Lord could give revelation to our leaders to make every Bishop read certain materials and have 12-step meetings in every stake (and part of me thinks it would be great if that did happen!), but even though I think the Lord wants the church to get to that point, He allows it to happen more organically through the efforts of women like you (and hopefully someday me and other WOPAs we know and love) because there are benefits and blessings (in knowledge and faith) that come to those involved in getting the change to happen. We will be so much more prepared as mothers (and queens) now and eternally to know for ourselves what women in our situation really need. And because the thrust of the education to the leaders is coming directly from our perspective rather than impersonal revelation (that is, not directly connected to the personal experience of someone that a leader may know), I believe the programs and protocol that will follow will be more likely to center on our needs rather than the uninformed ideas of well-meaning but inexperienced leaders.

It's messy this way, and a lot of women are suffering until these programs are put in place and leaders are adequately educated, and I don't think God is actually satisfied with this situation, but He is patient and lets the progress come from us as we use His grace, I believe. It's hard to really explain exactly what I felt, so I hope it makes sense. I just feel so strongly that MM's experience and the role that WOPAs can play in educating others and helping them find paths to healing are consistent with God's plan for us to use agency and learn and progress in this life. That is what we're here for: to take the road that will make us. (Another must-read!)

The impression also meant a lot to me because it also speaks to questions I've had about other processes of change in the church such as allowing blacks to receive the Priesthood and women praying in General Conference. There are appropriate ways to address issues in the culture of our church with our leaders, and MM's success is another testament to me of this. I do not feel that it is quite time for me to make a big effort to reach out as MM did---I don't know if God will ever put an experience quite like that in my path. But I do hope for and look forward to times when I will be able to contribute to more widespread efforts to help others find healing.